I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
