would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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