she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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