Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Someone came in the potted fern
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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