he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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