in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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