im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
