The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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