you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
