i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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