She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
