ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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