I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
