So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
