i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
