just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
