My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
