Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
