nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Randomize
