Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
