The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
