All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize