I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
