first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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