I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
