have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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