Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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