Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I want a musical about memes.
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