you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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