There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
