I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
