Where are you?
In a non slutty way
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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