At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
