im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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