I want to stick my p in your. b.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
