Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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