Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
