the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
