I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.