this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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