I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
