So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Boobs are out for the taking
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.