I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?