i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.