But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
