Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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