I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
