I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
