She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
