Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize