She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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