I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
