I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
