so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
