apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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