Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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