2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
