is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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