Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
