please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We left the knife in your bed.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
