So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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