We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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