After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
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I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
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We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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