I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
