Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize