Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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(205): View more from Alabama

why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?

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(845): View more from New York

It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.

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These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

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(353): View more from

I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!

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(970): View more from Colorado

Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?

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