I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
