she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry