Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
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The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless