so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dating After Heartbreak
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos